Khayalon ki Coffee

One fine evening, I was making some coffee while thinking about all the miseries in life. It was raining outside and the weather was just perfect to make my mind write down something!
The outcome is quoted below :

Title : Khayalon ki Coffee

Yaadon ke patile main, Samay ki aanch par
Dheere dheere khayalon ki, coffee bana raha hoon!

Door tak, der tak, paidal chale the jo saath hum,
Un Gujari-dhundhli yaadon pe, paani faila raha hoon.

Woh doston se baatein, Woh nostalgic Raatein,

Woh khushi ke pal me chhupe, sugar cubes mila raha hoon.

Sar par hai tension, par Dil mein hai ambition,
In Motivational Coffee beans ka main, powder bana raha hoon.

Kuchh haseen lamhon ko, kuch udaas palon ko,
Maturity ki chamach se, ek saath mila raha hoon.

Zeevan ke is safar mein, ban gaye jo hamsafar,
Un hamraahiyo ko is coffee ke kuchh ghoonth pila raha hoon.

Yaadon ke patile main, Samay ki aanch par
Dheere dheere khayalon ki, coffee bana raha hoon!

Gone Too Soon...

There are a lot of tributaries for the World's Best Entertainer, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson... Instead of writing about him or his life, I would just like to recall words from his own song. It seems the song was written for him for this day itself...

Title : Gone too soon.
Album : Dangerous, 1991
Artist : Michael Jackson

Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

Project Team Mein Aayi Ek Ladki...

Disclaimer : The poem is purely fictional and not related to any person dead or alive. If any resemblance to anyone is found, write another poem like this and add this Disclaimer on top of it! :-)

Aaj meri project team mein, eek nayi ladki aayi hai
Usne team ke sabhi ladkon ki, soyi ummeeeden jagai hain.

Shruwaat mein to doston, relations the bade professional
Dheere dheere, mujhe iccha huyi, baat karu main kuch personal.

Technically to pata nahi, par beauty mein to woh strong hai,
Aisi khoobsurat ladki ki help karne mein kya wrong hai?

Haalat aisi huyi meri kharaab, doston kya bataun main tumhe,
Pakki duffer nikli wohi, aur bade irritating the woh lamhe.

Ek minute discussion ka, lagta hai jaise ek saal,
Frustration itni badh jaati hai, ki kheench lun apne baal!

Das baje aati hai woh, 5.30 ko chali jaati,
Kaam khud se kuch na kare, sab kaam mujh se karvati!

Kaam saara maine kiya, credit ki woh nikli chor,
Isliye appraisal ke time pe, doston, ho gaya main ignore.

Uske peeche barbaad hue sab type ke projects,
Fir bhi rehti hai woh on top of boss's list of favourites..

Jaise taise, mar mar ke, complete kiya technical project,
Saath hi mere personal interests ko, usne berehami se kiya reject.

Is haadse ke baad, IT companies ki har ladki se main darta hun
Project team mein koi ladki na aaye, bas yehi dua main karta hun.

Mere Labz...

Khamosh meri shayari, kanjoos mere labz;
Karte hain har khayal ko, misuse mere labz...

Kuch soch samjh hoti to, appreciate bhi kar deta koi,
Khud apni hi aavaz mein, confuse mere labz...

Kabaadi vaala de gaya, vapas mere kagaz;
Main khud nahin kar pata, re-use mere labz...

Chhapte nahin kahin pe, koi padhta bhi nahi hai,
Bas mere andar hi rehte hain, mehfooz mare labz...

Kuchh sachi feelings, kuchh puraani yaadein,
Aur kuchh imaginations ko, karte abuse mere labz...

Khamosh meri shayari, kanjoos mere labz;
Karte hain har khayal ko, misuse mere labz...

Marketing People : Beware

At a recent Microsoft Users Group meeting, Microsoft was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software: Vista Talker 15.5.

The Microsoft Marketing representative was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down.

Just then someone in the back of the room yelled, "Format C: Return."

Someone else chimed in: "Yes, Return."

Unfortunately, the software worked !!!

Mamma I Don’t Feel, Good In These Shoes

Title – Mamma I Don’t Feel, Good In These Shoes

A depressing poem which metaphors pain in career with that of pain of a shoe!!!

Thought these are called the Programmer's boot
As they program their world however they choose.
Yes, the guys say they look good on me
But mamma I don’t feel, good in these shoes!

It’s a heavy pair and rough from inside
The laces keep on tightening, nails from the sides
Force me to walk for bigger career virtues
But mamma I don’t feel, good in these shoes!

If the soul is the sole, then it’s all worn out
Somehow I can just type, but I can never shout.
I maybe technically strong, unable to refuse
But mamma I don’t feel, good in these shoes!

Rush Hour Calendar

Once, while 'NIL' thinking, I figured out that the current Gregorian Calendar is not the best form of Calendar to be used in current work environments. Hence, I have come up with an improvised and efficient Calendar. This is a special calendar for handling rush jobs.

Following is the Format of the newly proposed Calendar, devised specially to be used in Typical Office Environments :

I know, this Calendar does not seem easy to understand. This is purposefully done so that the calendar looks intelligent !!

Below are the considered while preparing this Calendar. Hopefully, this shall explain why the Calendar is designed so :
  1. All rush jobs were actually required to be submitted yesterday. With this calendar, a job can be ordered on the 7th and delivered on 3rd. Much like what our Managers generally expect !!!
  2. Most Jobs are required to be done by Friday, so there are three Fridays every week
  3. There are eight new days added to each month to allow for end-of-the-month panic jobs.
  4. There is no first of the month – thus avoiding late delivery of the previous month’s last minute panic jobs.
  5. The unlucky considered days like 13th, 29th and 31st have also been abolished, so as to avoid the blame on the unfortunate dates.
  6. Monday morning hangovers are abolished together with non-productive Saturdays and Sundays.
  7. A new day – Negotiation Day – has been introduced keeping the other days free for uninterrupted ‘panic’.

Hopefully, this "Rush Hour Calendar" shall improve the efficiency at your work place !!!

Main Aur mere Roommates....

This Poem is dedicated to Our dirty House, My roommate, Mr. Mosquito and his Families, and the all the heap of stuffs over which I am sitting while writing this blog...

Main Aur mera roommate
Aksar Yeh Baatain Kiya Karte Hain

Ghar saaf hota to aisa hota

Hum saaf rehte to kaisa hota...

Main kitchen saaf karta,tum bathrooom dhote
Main hall saaf karta, tum balcony dekhte

Log is baat pe hairaan hote

Aur us baat pe haste

Yeh hara bhara sink hai

Aur bartanon ki jang chidi hui hai

Yeh color full kitchen hai

Ya masaalon se holi kheli hai

Hai farsh ki hai nayi design

Ya yeh dhuli hui hai doodh aur beer se,

Yeh airfreshner ka naya flavour hai,
Ya fir dardnaak badboo aati dustbin se..

Yeh sochta hun main kab se gum sum,

Ke machhar nahi hai, kaheen nahi hai,

Magar mera dil hai ke keh raha hai

Machhar yaheen hai, yaheen kaheen hai !

Toand (Pot-Belly) ki hai ye haalat, meri bhi hai, uski bhi..

Exercise karne ka decide to karte, par roj subah uthne ka nahi hai dum

Guitar bhi sikhna hai, Books bhi padhni hai,

Karne ko bohut kuch hai magar kab kare hum..

Dil kahta hai koi ek aakar room mein bikhra saamaan jama de.

Ye Carpet jo jeene ko joonzh raha hai, fikwa de!

Safai se rehne ke fayde, hamein bhi jata de

Hum Safai mein rahe sakte hain, logon ko bata de!

Main aur mere roommates

Aksar Yehi Baatain Kiya Karte Hain !

Keh Denge....

I wrote this after a usual talk with a friend at Shambhu's cafe. I laughed first after writing & reading this, but then realized it could hurt someone too... Whats your take?

Pehli baar mili,
To socha chall, keh denge...

Thodi batein hui to samjha,
Jaldbaazi thik nahi, aye dil sambhal, keh denge...

Woh to pass ho gayi, apni ATKT lag gayi,
Hum peeche hi sahi, tu aage nikal, baad mein, keh denge...

Haantho main haanth daale ghume bahut,
Acche se mil jaayen agar do pal, to, keh denge...

Ussne card de ke invite kiyaa hai apni shaadi pe,
Aur dil keh raha hai, aaj to shaadi ka mahol hai, kal, keh denge...

Truth Behind The Origin of Valentine's Day

In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that Valentine's Day originated many years ago, in India, and to top it all, in Gujarat!!

During those days, Gujju men, continually mistreated and disrespected their wives (Gujjuaini). One fine day, it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Gujjuaini, having had enough "torture" by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up with a belan (rolling pin).

Yes....the same belan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him.... only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened.

This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their husbands with the belan. There was an outburst of moaning "chapatti-ed" husbands all over Anand and Amdavad. The Gujju men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to behave more respectfully with their Gujjuaini wives.

Thereafter, on 14th February, every year, the womenfolk of Gujarat would beat up their husbands, to commemorate that eventful day. The wives having the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with the belan and the men having the supreme joy of submitting to the will of the women they loved. Soon the Gujju men realized that in order to avoid this ordeal they need to present gifts to their wives....they brought flowers and sweetmeats. Hence the tradition began.

As Gujarat fell under the influence of Western culture, 14th February became the 'Belan time' day.

Through the wide Desi networks of Gujjus, the ritual soon spread to Britain and many other Western countries, specifically, the catch words 'Belan time!'

Of course in their foreign tongues, it was first anglicized to 'Belantine', then to 'Velantine' and then to 'Valentine'.

And thereafter, 14th of February, came to be known as Valentine's Day!

So....if you see a Gujju with a black eye and a Gujjuiani with a V(B)ELAN in her hand, then you know....its V(B)ALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Happy BELAN TIME Day!!!

PS : Thanks to KP and Mr. Sudhir.
Note: No offense intended for any community or anyone.

I believe....

Some beautiful lines taken from a wonderful song :

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires
I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

Taken from 'Affirmation' by Savage Garden !

Moan and Piss off !!!

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Moral of the story : Some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning !!!

Obituary to the Pillsbury Doughboy !

I was going through the newspapers and reached the obituaries section. I wondered if people are valued more after death than their value while alive.
But than I thought, what about those things that will not die... They may never be valued properly?

Consider an obituary to Mickey Mouse, Barbie or maybe to Ronald McDonald of MacDonald's.

Just as my train of thoughts took off the station I was considering the obituary for Pillsbusy Doughboy.
How interesting would be his obituary...

I decided, let me give it a thought and I came up with this one :

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

Known to friends as Bake-n-Serve, Fresh was an good chef, an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mr. Doughnut, Ms. Butterscotch, The chocolate pudding and Apple pie.

The graveside was piled high with flours as his wife Poppie Fresh delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes - conned by those who buttered him up.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his wife Poppie Fresh. They have two children, Biscuit and Muffin, and another bun in the oven.

The funeral was held at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes.
Yoo Hoooo !!!

We Will Meet Again

This poem that I composed during 7th semester in my college. I was planning to sing/recite this poem along with my guitar performance at the Annual Talent evening in college, but could not do so due to time constraints...
I was just allowed to play the song, no poems !

We sat in the lawns of campus yesterday,
Remembering the moments spent in joy and disdain.

Soon each of us will go in a different way,
But they say, that someday, we will meet again.

We have grown together through this 4 years of time,
In this duration we lived our lives to its prime,
But there's more to come, separation is just a pain,
For the say, that someday, we will meet again.

My mind however is caught in a confusing maze,
To think about the future or live in these days,
Tomorrow when I will take a trip down memory lane,
I will recall, that we were to meet again.

But just for today lets keep these worries at bay,

For one fact holds simple and plain,
With great friends and moments we have come a long way,
Thus, we can say that, we will meet again.

New Year’s Reality Check

Another year, another chance
To start my life anew;
This time let me leap old barriers
To have a real breakthrough.

Let me take one little step
And then take one more;
My unlimited potential
Let me now explore.

Let me discover my hidden talents
And inspire everyone;
Then hardwork will claim success
And the prizes to be won.

Let me reach out the skies
Perform and acheive a lot;
All my goals shall be accomplished,
Starting 2009,
with this positive thought...

Happy New Year !!!