Mistaken Reflexive Utterance !!!

It was a special night at the Teatro La Fenice theater and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff.

As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat.

"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It has been in my family for six generations."

She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch... "

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

She continued, "Now you are feeling dizzy... Keep watching the watch. Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch... "

Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch.

Suddenly the watch slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"SHIT !" cried the hypnotist.

And it took three weeks to clean up the theater !!!

Stock Market Defined !

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was $2 as there were only two pieces of $1 coins circulating around.

There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned $1.

B decided to purchase the land from A for $1. So, now A and C own $1 each while B owned a piece of land that is worth $1.

* The net asset of the country now = $3.

Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed $1 from A, and together with his own $1, he bought the land from B for $2.

* A has a loan to C of $1, so his net asset is $1.
* B sold his land and got $2, so his net asset is $2.
* C owned the piece of land worth $2 but with his $1 debt to A, his net residual asset is $1.
* Thus, the net asset of the country = $4.

A saw that the land he once owned has risen in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a $1 loan to C. He then borrowed $2 from B and acquired the land back from C for $3. The payment is by $2 cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the $1 loan to C. As a result, A now owned a piece of land that is worth $3. But since he owed B $2, his net asset is $1.

* B loaned $2 to A. So his net asset is $2.
* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also $2.
* The net asset of the country = $5. (A bubble is building up.)

B saw that the value of land kept rising. He also wanted to own the land. So he bought the land from A for $4. The payment is by borrowing $2 from C, and cancellation of his $2 loan to A.

* As a result, A has got his debt cleared and he got the 2 coins. His net asset is $2.
* B owned a piece of land that is worth $4, but since he has a debt of $2 with C, his net asset is $2.
* C loaned $2 to B, so his net asset is $2.

* The net asset of the country = $6. (Even though, the country has only one piece of land and $2 in circulation.)

Everybody has made money and everybody felt happy and prosperous.

One day an evil wind blew, and an evil thought came to C's mind. "Hey, what if the land price stop going up, how could B repay my loan. There is only $2 in circulation, and, I think after all the land that B owns is worth at most only $1, and no more."

A also thought the same way.

Nobody wanted to buy land anymore.

* So, in the end, A owns the $2 coins, his net asset is $2.
* B owed C $2 and the land he owned which he thought worth $4 is now $1. So his net asset is only $1.
* C has a loan of $2 to B. But it is a bad debt. Although his net asset is still $2, his Heart is palpitating.
* The net asset of the country = $3 again.

So, who has stolen the $3 from the country? Of course, before the bubble burst B thought his land was worth $4. Actually, right before the collapse, the net asset of the country was $6 on paper. Though B's net asset is still $2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

B had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. C as to relinquish his $2 bad debt to B, but in return he acquired the land which is worth 1 dollar now.

* A owns the 2 coins; his net asset is 2 dollars.
* B is bankrupt; his net asset is 0 dollar. (He lost everything !)
* C got no choice but end up with a land worth only 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars.

End of the story...
There is however a redistribution of wealth.


IT'S ANALYSIS TIME !

A is the winner, B is the loser, C is lucky that he is spared.
A few points worth noting -

- When a bubble is building up, the debt of individuals to one another in a country is also building up.

- This story of the island is a closed system whereby there is no other country and hence no foreign debt. The worth of the asset can only be calculated using the island's own currency. Hence, there is no net loss for the country.

- An over-damped system is assumed when the bubble burst, meaning the land's value did not go down to below 1 dollar.

- When the bubble burst, the fellow with cash is the winner. The fellows having the land or extending loan to others are the losers. The asset could shrink or in worst case, they go bankrupt.

- If there is another citizen D either holding a dollar or another piece of land but refrains from taking part in the game, he will neither win nor lose. But he will see the value of his money or land goes up and down like a see saw.

- When the bubble was in the growing phase, everybody made money.

- If you are smart and know that you are living in a growing bubble, it is worthwhile to borrow money (like A) and take part in the game. But you must know when you should change everything back to cash.

- As in the case of land, the above phenomenon applies to stocks as well.

- The actual worth of land or stocks depends largely on psychology (or speculation)

PS : Thanks to Alan

Female Perceptions Vs. Male Perceptions

Here I am presenting a typical incident focusing on the differences between Male perceptions and Female perceptions. Both these creatures belong to same species, but they think totally different than each other.

Take a case into consideration when a guy named Rahul is attracted to a girl named Vedanshi. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few days later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Vedanshi, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is a silence. To Vedanshi, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Rahul is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Vedanshi is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading towards marriage? Towards having children? Towards being together for lifetime? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Rahul is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . . February when we started going out, which was right after I had the new car, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Vedanshi is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Rahul is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the gears again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting correctly. And they better not try to blame it on the bad handling this time. What bad handling? this damn thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves 1200 bucks to get it repaired.

And Vedanshi is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Rahul is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Vedanshi is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Rahul is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their . . .

"Rahul," Vedanshi says aloud.

"What?" says Rahul, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have . . . Oh God, I feel so . . . " (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Rahul.

"I'm such a fool," Vedanshi sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse ????" says Rahul.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Vedanshi says.

"No!" says Rahul, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time," Vedanshi says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Rahul, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says.

(Vedanshi, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Rahul, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Rahul.

"That way about time," says Vedanshi.

"Oh," says Rahul. "Yes."

(Vedanshi turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Rahul," she says.

"Thank you," says Rahul.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Rahul gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Ruffles, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (Precisely, That’s also Rahul's policy regarding world hunger.)




IT'S ANALYSIS TIME

The next day Vedanshi will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Rahul, while playing table tennis one day with a mutual friend of his and Vedanshi's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Nilay, did Vedanshi ever own a horse?"


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I am not talking about people having different wavelengths here.

I am talking about people living on different planets, in completely different solar systems.

Vedanshi cannot communicate meaningfully with Rahul about their relationship any more than she can meaningfully play chess with a duck.
And the sum total of Rahul's thinking on this particular topic is as follows:
Huh?